If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you losse on earth will be loosed in heaven.

-Matthew 18:15-18

  

Step One:

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you.

-Matthew 18:15a

What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.

-Matthew 18:12-14

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.

-Matthew 18:15

  

Step Two:

If they will not listen, take one or two others along…

-Matthew 18:16a

  

Your goal is to point out their fault from the standpoint that you want to restore a relationship that has been fractured because of sin:

• You go in gentleness and peace.
• You communicate through body language and words.You make it clear that you want to repair what has been fractured.
• But part of that requires that the offense be named, and confession and repentance precede the forgiveness that you are willing and anxious to give.

  

Step Three: Tell it to the church.

The congregation of today is made up of both believers and non-believers.

Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

-Matthew 18:18

I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

-Matthew 16:19

  

Church leaders are in the business of reconciliation! To God and to one another!

  

At every phase—without love, compassion, and the language of restoration, this process will fail.

  

Step Four: Treat them as you would a pagan or tax collector.

How would you treat that person?

• Pray for them.
• Wish them well.
• Pray that God would orchestrate events in their lives to bring them to repentance.

  

What if the person doesn’t ask for forgiveness? Am I still obligated to forgive? 

Love your enemies…bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you

-Luke 6:27-28

We are to bless them, and that blessing means that our part of the inward forgiveness has happened. The opposite of forgiveness is holding a grudge, but blessing is the opposite of holding a grudge, and so blessing is a kind of forgiving.

-John Piper

  

What did Jesus say to His enemies while he was on the cross?

Forgive them for they know not what they do.

-Luke 23:34a

When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.

-1 Peter 2:23

  

Is there a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation? 

It’s possible for forgiveness to occur in our relationship with God apart from future interaction with the person who sinned against us.

There are many reasons why we might not be able to speak with the person and extend forgiveness:

• Sexual abuse.
• Financial abuse.
• Physical abuse.
• Emotional abuse.

  

Forgiveness is different from reconciliation.

When someone has been significantly hurt and feels hesitant about restoration with her offender, it’s both right and wise to look for changes in the offender before allowing reconciliation to begin.

-Steve Cornell

  

How do I process through forgiving those who have hurt me deeply?

• Do not deny or justify the sin.

• Remind yourself that there is ample compassion, mercy, and grace in Christ for you.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

-Hebrews 4:14–16

  

With compassion, gentleness, and a genuine desire to restore—reconciliation and restoration is possible!

  

What do you do in all cases?

Love your enemies…bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.

-Luke 6:27-28

  

First: Grapple with the weight of personal sin.

Second: Marvel at the gift of total forgiveness.

Third: Take a trip to Heaven!

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

-Romans 8:18-21

Until what Jesus did for you becomes more real than what someone else did to you, you will not want to forgive.

I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand. I could not. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me your forgiveness. As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me. And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than our own goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself.

-Corrie Ten Boom

  

Until what Jesus did for you becomes more real than what someone else did to you, you will not want to forgive.

  

  

  

I have committed my life to Jesus Christ. Love has replaced the hate I had for you.

-Louie Zamperini

Live at peace with all, if it is possible on your part.

-Romans 12:18

  

  

  

  

  

What were your main takeaways from this sermon?

Make a Decision Unbroken by L. Hillenbrand