5 Questions to Ask Before You Marry

  

Abraham was now very old, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. He said to the senior servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, ‘Put your hand under my thigh. I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac.’ The servant asked him, ‘What if the woman is unwilling to come back with me to this land? Shall I then take your son back to the country you came from?’ ‘Make sure that you do not take my son back there,’ Abraham said. ‘The Lord, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father’s household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, ‘To your offspring I will give this land’—he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there....’ Then the servant left, taking with him ten of his master’s camels loaded with all kinds of good things from his master. He set out for Aram Naharaim and made his way to the town of Nahor. He had the camels kneel down near the well outside the town; it was toward evening, the time the women go out to draw water. Then he prayed, ‘Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.’ Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah, who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor. …The servant hurried to meet her and said, ‘Please give me a little water from your jar.’ ‘Drink, my lord,’ she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink. After she had given him a drink, she said, ‘I’ll draw water for your camels too, until they have had enough to drink.’ So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the Lord had made his journey successful. Then he asked, ‘Whose daughter are you? Please tell me, is there room in your father’s house for us to spend the night?’ She answered him, ‘I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son that Milkah bore to Nahor.’ And she added, ‘We have plenty of straw and fodder, as well as room for you to spend the night.’ Then the man bowed down and worshiped the Lord, saying, ‘Praise be to the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master. As for me, the Lord has led me on the journey to the house of my master’s relatives.’

-Genesis 24:1–7, 10-15, 17-21, 23-27

    

Lord help me!

  

He said, ‘O LORD, the God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today, and show lovingkindness to my master Abraham.

-Genesis 24:12 (NASB)

In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, ‘My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.’

-Hebrews 12:4-6

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.

-1 Corinthians 6:18

Porneia: A catch all term for any sexual activity outside heterosexual marriage. 

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.

-Ephesians 5:3

  

Question One: Does my spiritual mentor approve?

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.

-Ecclesiastes 4:9

Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?

-Job 12:12

  

Question Two: Is there spiritual compatibility?

I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites.

-Genesis 24:3

This is not racism. This is about spiritual compatibility.

Behold, here I stand by the well of water, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water. Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say, ‘Please let down your pitcher that I may drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink’—let her be the one You have appointed for Your servant Isaac. And by this I will know that You have shown kindness to my master.

-Genesis 24:13-14

And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived.

-Genesis 4:1

Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands?

-2 Corinthians 6:14-15 NLT

Blessed is the man…whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper.

-Psalm 1:1-3

  

Do you want your children to truly prosper in mind, body and soul? Here is the map:

1. Is he or she praying with you now?

2. Does he or she have a passion for the Word, now?

3. What is the primary passion of his or her heart now?

4. What does he or she talk about now?

5. Do they live life for a purpose bigger than themself, now?

Bottom line: Will your spouse teach your children the law of the Lord because they meditate on it day and night? Is this the posture of their lives?

  

Question Three: Will his/her parents encourage or discourage the direction we want to take our family?

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

-Proverbs 22:6

Then he asked, ‘Whose daughter are you? Please tell me, is there room in your father’s house for us to spend the night?’ She answered him, ‘I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son that Milkah bore to Nahor.’ And she added, ‘We have plenty of straw and fodder, as well as room for you to spend the night.’ Then the man bowed down and worshiped the Lord, saying, ‘Praise be to the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master.’

-Genesis 24:23-27

  

Question Four: Am I really ready to get married?

Then they said, ‘Let’s call the young woman and ask her about it.’ So they called Rebekah and asked her, ‘Will you go with this man?’ ‘I will go,’ she said.

-Genesis 24: 57-58

  

How old am I?

  

Am I running from something?

• Parents Authority.
• Unhealthy home.
• Loneliness…
• My siblings.
• My parents rules.

  

Am I looking for a Savior?

  

How long have I been dating this person?

  

You can’t Save Him! You can’t Save her!

  

Question Five: Am I physically attracted to this person?

      “How do you know when he’s the one?”

You must know your values, dreams, and goals. You must form laser-like clarity concerning the type of person you want to marry who will come along side you and help you to achieve those values, dreams, and goals. You must know the kind of temperament and personality that will harmonize well with your needs and desires. You must decide long beforehand your list of non-negotiables. And most importantly, you must pray, beginning now, that God will give you the gift of discernment and will prevent you from falling into the trap of emotional decisions void of logic and reality. Yes, emotion will play an important role but emotions must be tempered with wisdom from those you trust. How will you know? This is one of the great challenges that human beings face, so you must start getting ready now.

-Jeff Vines

  

  

  

  

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