Love & Discipline

  

If a child is corrected, they become wise. But a child who is not corrected brings shame to their mother.

-Proverbs 29:15 NIRV

  

Two World Views: 

  

Secular View of the world:

• Man is basically good.
• Teach him the right path and he will most likely choose to go that direction.
• Key words: Rehabilitate. Reprogram.

Jesus’ world view:

• The heart of man is wicked.
• He has a disposition toward doing the wrong thing.
• He is self-serving.
• Self-aggrandizing.
• Key Words: Regeneration. Teaching. Correction

  

Jesus assumed that the heart of every child is not bent toward righteousness.

  

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

-Jeremiah 17:9

For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.

-Mark 7:21-23

Discipline: The practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience.

  

What does the Bible say?

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.’

-Ephesians 6:1-3

A person who grows up with a sense of respect for and obedience to his parents will have the foundation for respecting the authority of other leaders and the right of people in general.

When parents stop teaching and nourishing their children and children stop obeying and honoring their parents, society self-destructs!

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

-Ephesians 6:4

  

How do we exasperate or provoke our children?

  

1. A child is exasperated when there are no clear boundaries.

2. A child is exasperated when discipline is inconsistent.

When there is consistency in a parent’s actions and responses, the toddler behaves better. Consistent parenting also helps toddlers develop emotional security and trust which also lessens misbehaviors.

-Sanford Health

  

Secret: The balance between Love and Discipline!

Love: I love you even when you disobey.

Discipline: There are ramifications to your behavior.

This parenting style results in children who are confident, responsible, and able to self-regulate. They can manage negative emotions more effectively, resulting in better social outcomes and emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health. These children also have a higher sense of self-esteem, which can also result in a higher level of academic performance. The parent who balances love and discipline is consistent in their discipline, holds the child accountable, and sees discipline in harmony with love.

3. A child is exasperated when the parents engage in overprotection.

Well-meaning overprotection is a common cause of resentment in children. Parents who smother their children, overly restrict where they can go and what they can do, never trust them to do things on their own, and continually question their judgment build a barrier between themselves and their children, usually under the delusion that they are building a closer relationship. Children need careful guidance and certain restrictions, but they are individual human beings in their own right and must learn to make decisions on their own, commensurate with their age and maturity. Their wills can be guided but not controlled.

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

-Deuteronomy 6:4-9

4. A child is exasperated when there is Favoritism of one sibling over another.

5. A child is exasperated when he is pushed to achieve beyond reasonable bounds.

Make sure you temper your instruction and demands with grace and encouragement.

6. A child is exasperated when there is little to no public display of affection between mom and dad.

In this study we found that parent’s emotional connection to each other affects child rearing so much that it shapes their children’s future.

-University of Michigan: How Parent’s Love shapes their children’s lives

Children whose parents demonstrate their love for one another: 

• Stay in school longer.
• Marry later in life and have a significantly lower divorce rate.
• Gravitate toward the home throughout their lives.
• Are more confident in school and in relationships.
• Achieve greater academic success.
• Are less likely to develop mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety.
• Tend to view the opposite sex with respect.
• Are more happy, more peaceful, and more stable.

Your child has a bent toward unrighteousness.

You must instruct, teach and correct your child in order to save them.

  

But what then is the greatest lesson?

Who is the greatest example? God himself!

  

My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.

-Hebrews 12:5-6

  

  

  

  

  

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